Good even sports fans,
Since my last post, I’ve been struggling like you couldn’t believe to write this next one. First, its hard to tell you, God and the world that my family stole all my disability money way back when I was 17 years old, invested for themselves, while they gave me a room in their basement and a $14,000 allowance to live on. When I tried talking to my mother, she told me your father deals with the money. She lights another cigarette and walked away. My father told me that if I didn’t like how he was handling my disability money that I should hire a lawyer and sue him. Well, that would be sending him to prison for years for embezzlement. I’d never send a family member to prison no matter what they did.
So I was afraid, a coward and gave up. I have no one to blame but myself. So what do I do? I do what I do best. I’m finally tired of giving up. If I don’t fight for myself, I’ll never love a women like she deserves. In my mind, if love someone, you listen to them, you care about all aspects of their life and try to make them happy and finally, you fight for them until … until the end of time.
I have accomplish so much in my life, but I’m missing one last thing. I want to fall in love. So what do I do best? I assess what the real problem is and solve it. The real problem is something I feel a lot of disabled people have, not all by all means, but I know I’m not the only one. I’m afraid to confront my family and my friends when they preform acts of betrayal, or what I feel is betrayal. Its not just stealing money. It can be as simple as abusing my desire to help people.
My solution, write about it. In 1979, their wasn’t a manual for me to know everything I needed to know about how live the next 36 years paralyzed from the chest down. Just as importantly, there wasn’t one for my family or friends either.
So what I’m going to do is write one. I’m going to write my story and just as importantly I’m going to explain the things that are good and the things that are not. Here’s an example;
I’m tying a knot in a string for a project I’m working on. My hands are paralyzed so it can take 15 minutes to complete. A friend stops by and sees me working on the knot. A minute or two goes buy and I’m starting over for the 3rd time. Its obvious to my friend that at the pace I’m going it’s going to take some time. So he being a good friend and all, walks over, takes the string from me, ties the knot while he says, stop struggling, let me do the for you.
My first thought is to tell him to get the bleep out of my apartment. I don’t, because I’m afraid to insult my friend because he has no idea what made me so angry. Do you know what happened that boils my blood so much that I’m at the edge of loosing a friend?
Taking the string without politely asking to help can be forgiven, but the stop struggling comment is the worst possible thing he could say. I’ll be writing a lot about how words can hurt. Not only that, they can push people backwards with their rehab, with their life.
There is so much the able body world doesn’t have a clue with us with disabilities. And just as importantly, there is so much the disabled world doesn’t do or try to do because ?? That’s several blogs too.
For the past several months, I’ve been working on projects and taking pictures. I’ll talk about the process I use to put the nuts and bolts in place, well everything about the projects. I make my own wheelie mitts, trays, can holders, suspenders, cabinets, repairs, I could go on for ever. I try to do everything I possibly can myself. I rarely ask for help. My friends sometimes get pissed when I don’t. I understand that they want to help. Again there a lot there that needs explaining if you’re not disabled.
I can’t fight for someone else, if I won’t fight for myself. So
Finally, I want my family to know. They can have my money or my love. They don’t get both. When I say money, I mean a check for the $700,000 my insurance company gave me and all the millions in profits that money made for the family.
I’m going to write many many blogs about how and why you and other families feel no shame for stealing from their disable family members.
You can be a role model for all the other bad families by doing the right thing and say you were wrong and give me back all the money, or you can tell Me, God and the world that you feel no shame for stealing a disabled child’s money, leaving him to work for a living so he can earn enough money to leave the room in your basement and then disown him and leave him living on social security. The world will know your answer.
Merry Christmas to everyone.